wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs
also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything
what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??
Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.
Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.
Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show
Y'all suspect af😂
*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*
Make sure you set up a solid alibi Pay for everything in cash
Or, for those of you who’ve read Roald Dahl’s Lamb to the Slaughter, feed the murder weapon to the police
Bodies should be buried vertically, not horizontally, to avoid the appearance of a grave. If you choose to dismember the body instead of bury it whole don’t forget to take a lighter or bottle of lye to the fingertips until charred or melted away, and use bleach on every surface that may have come in contact with blood splatter.
Also, don’t fucking brag about it later Jesus wept.
all this info is good for writing
but for actual real life, no one on tumblr has enough energy to get out of bed
ain’t no body on this website is gonna murder anyone
Make friends with a pig farmer. A full grown nursing sow can eat an entire human body, bones and all, in about 6 hours.
Shit that last one is more helpful than I wanted it to be, I’ll never look at pigs the same
Reblogging for *educational* purposes :)
Don’t forget to use a different car. And avoid popular areas. They usually have camera every where
Getting away with murder sound like hella effort I’m bouta serve this murder sentence at least prison got cell phones now
Dig ya hole helllllla fucking deep if you have to the. Bury the corpse fill the hole about three quarters of the way then put some roadkill or something on top of that then fill the hole with the rest of the dirt. Just in case dogs smell it out. They’ll dig up the road kill.
A white person learning another language in the United States is a person looking to build a résumé.
A person of color learning English in the United States is a person looking to be treated like a human being.
It is not the same thing.
Keep reblogging this white people are getting mad because they don’t know the difference between learning a language because it’s fun or to put it on applications and learning a language so you won’t get treated like garbage by everyone
